Finding Your Tribe
Fitting in, to whatever group you aim for, is an ongoing struggle for the young. There is always an “in group” at every level in every school and club. Sometimes it’s the popular kids, the A’ team, or your desired employer or university.
By the time you are an adult, out of school and out in the world, you would hope that fitting in is no longer as important. In my experience, however, this is not always the case. And, even if you were one of the popular kids, the ‘A’ team members, I have yet to meet a person who didn’t still feel like an outsider in some situation, to some group, at some point in their lives.
What if you were someone who never fit in, who never tried out for any team, who never felt like you belonged, or never felt ‘good enough’? What if this then prevented you from even trying to ‘fit in’? (like it did for me…)
Your kind of people do exist somewhere. Your tribe is out there , you just need to find it, or create it!
Your tribe isn’t like a gang, it’s more like an elite selection of people who you CHOOSE to spend your time with. What I mean by finding your tribe is joining a group that allows you to feel one of them—the Scouts, a Drama Society, MENSA, a Burlesque troupe...
Being one of several people who share your interests, who are glad to welcome you into their circle, who when they say “we” mean you too. It’s a very good feeling. A very good feeling indeed.
And if you can’t find the tribe you need or want then you can always create one yourself.
The experience of finding your tribe is often life-changing and always reaffirming that who you are, where your interests lie, are shared by some others. As much as an individual or individualist as you may be, people who are like you in some way, who share your interests and particular peculiarities, do exist, somewhere; if you keep looking, you will find your tribe.
It took me years to find my tribe, and not only did I find one tribe, I found a few...in fact, I found some and I created some. I choose who I spend my time with and, more importantly, who I do not spend my time with.
I drive my own bus and very often invite my tribe to ride it with me…..
Some ways to find your tribe.....
- Find an interesting group online: start with something that you enjoy doing. Look at social media groups, local groups and groups specific to a particular topic or activity.
- Join a class: always wanted to learn how to play the saxophone or Salsa dance? Then do it! Be brave, find a class and join it. (I've done both).
- Volunteer: when I was on a (health forced)career break and needed to decide on a new career path, the first thing I did was to sign up to be a volunteer with a variety of organisations. I made amazing lifelong friends as well as gaining some very valuable life skills and regaining my confidence, whilst giving something back to my community. (Go Hospital Radio!),
- Get to know your neighbours and locals: what's going on around you? Village halls, community centres, local groups and societies. Scour those community notice boards and parish magazines for hidden gems.
- Join an existing group: Am Dram, WI, choir..... who knows who and what you might find. (I brought Burlesque to the Women's Institute 7 years ago and have made lifelong friends as a result of it).
You have to be in it to win it..................