Who Is Driving Your Bus?

If your life were a bus then who is driving; are you the driver or a passenger in the bus of your life? A lot of people are passengers, what about you?

Another NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) phrase that I particularly like is 'Who is driving your bus?' In other words who is controlling you? Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions etc. 

Are you the 'driver' of your life or are you a passenger? 

I first experienced this phrase back in May of 2015. I had wanted to do NLP training for a few years and had been awarded a scholarship at work to be able to do this. The award meant that I could do not only my NLP Practitioner training but a Coaching qualification too. I was thrilled to get the scholarship and I threw myself into the home learning that had been sent to me. The actual classroom time was booked and I planned my travel and hotel nights so that I was not commuting every day. I completed the open book test over a bank holiday weekend and I was ready. Except I wasn't...

This was a period of time when I was struggling. I was struggling with my life and I was making some bad choices. I was not enjoying my work, couldn't hold down a relationship and I was using good old wine as a way to get through this. This was all contributing to my health going downhill and, in addition to all of this, I had broken a tiny bone in my foot 5 months earlier that just would not heal. My left foot was extremely swollen and painful. I had limped for months, could only wear certain shoes and it was really getting me down. And then, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the day before I was due to go to London for the NLP training course, I developed an abscess in a tooth that made my face swell up on one side. I tried frantically to get an emergency appointment but to no avail. Cancelling was not an option so off I went the following day to Hammersmith.

The course was running Sunday to Sunday. I was travelling up on the Saturday and staying over in readiness for an early start. It was FA Cup Final Day. The train to Liverpool Street and the tube to Hammersmith are a blur. I did not want to be there. I had my hair pulled over my swollen face and limped my way to the station, on and off trains, along platforms and arrived at Hammersmith tube station. I remember the walk to the hotel. The bars and cafes were still full of people and there were people sitting outside enjoying the early evening sun. It was warm. I limped along that street with my face covered and my head down. I have since described this as the 'fat face and the fat foot'. I was miserable. I was tired, tired of life, tired of drinking, tired of ill health, tired of everything.

That evening was spent in the hotel room, with a bottle of wine, after venturing to a local pizza place for some food. I really did not want to  be there. My foot hurt and my face hurt, my confidence levels were at their lowest for a long time, my self esteem was non-existent. 

The first few hours of the course were those 'getting to know you' ice breaker type things. I was so focused on hiding that I didn't really join in. I met a nice lady who you will hear more about at some point I am sure, but apart from her I didn't really feel a connection to anyone else. The guy running the course was an NLP Master Practitioner and he spoke to us about 'shaking up your model of the world'. He talked and he talked and he mentioned the 'who is driving your bus' thing. And it started to resonate. It started to make sense.

The following morning I decided to go for a walk along the street and up toward the tube station. I had been holed up in the hotel for hours, and would be again that day in training, and I really wanted some fresh air. I walked back up that street, not noticing my foot or any pain, with my head held high. I noticed how warm it was, the sun was shining, there were people getting ready to commute and people setting up shops and market stalls. When I reached the tube station I thought I would cross the road and walk back. 

As I went to cross the road I realised that the sun was not on the other side of the road. The other side actually looked a bit dark and cold. It didn't look as vibrant or alive as the side that I had just walked up. And I thought 'I don't want to walk on that side of the road, I will carry on walking back on this side'.

And then it hit me, the penny dropped. It really was that simple. I had just chosen not to walk on the darker and colder side of the street. I could choose. I had choices. I have choices.

And since then I have always chosen to drive my own bus.........always  chosen exactly where I drive it and I always choose the sunny side of the street.